A Shaky Start

Our story took a huge turn when we took two home pregnancy tests on Dec. 10, 2012.  Both turned positive immediately.  We were still very new in our relationship.  It was hard to come to grips with the idea of raising a child together.  But Kiley was my rock, and such an amazing support.  He made me feel like we could do anything.  He helped me realize that, despite our precautions, this was a blessing from God. 

The next day, I researched doctors and made an appointment for Dec. 26 because we were going to be out of town for Christmas before then.   After a few days had passed, we began to come around to the idea of being pregnant.  Then, something terribly scary happened.  In the middle of the night on Dec. 14, 2012, I woke up with severe abdominal cramping.  It was debilitating.  I made my way to the bathroom and just curled up on the floor.  I have always had horrible menstrual cramps, but this feeling didn’t compare.  It was much more intense… maybe the equivalent of contractions...?  After about 20 minutes, the cramping subsided.  Kiley called the emergicare for me and asked them what we should do.  They said there was no way of knowing what was wrong.  They warned him that it could be an ectopic pregnancy and gave the advice to go into the emergicare.  So, at 2am, we hopped in the car, drove down the road and checked into the emergicare.  They took a urine sample to confirm pregnancy, took blood work and ordered an ultrasound.  The waiting was intense.  The urine sample came back with a positive pregnancy test.  During the ultrasound, the tech said that we were about 5 weeks along and showed us the amniotic sac.  

(Sorry the photo is sideways... but you can still see the egg and very faint fetal pole to the right of the egg.)

 She showed us that the egg was the little white dot and that the faint gray line was the fetal pole.  No heartbeat was detected.  She assured us that the machine was older than she was used to working with and that we were so early in the pregnancy, it was normal to not discover a heartbeat just yet.  The doctor then came into the room with a different attitude.  He said that the blood work showed a lower hormone count than normal at that stage of pregnancy (it was 40,000).  He said that we should expect to miscarry and not be alarmed by heavy cramping and bleeding.  He wanted us to return two days later for more blood work to confirm miscarriage.  We went home not knowing how to feel… I was feeling a little devastated.  What an emotional week! First, we find out we are pregnant and now we have to prepare for miscarriage? My heart was heavy.  Two days later, we returned for lab work and the blood tests showed my hormone levels were dropping (20,000 this time) which “is a sure indication of miscarriage”, according to the doctor.  He said that if I didn’t start showing signs of miscarriage (cramping and bleeding) within a week or so, they wanted to schedule a D&C (dilation and curettage) to remove anything from my womb… that was terrifying to hear.  They sent me home with a bunch of huge pads and that was it.  Then, Kiley and I went on Christmas vacation to CO to see my family.  It was nice to be around family and in my favorite state because it helped take my mind off the impending dread in my heart… losing my first child. I know that there are so many women out there that experience miscarriage more than once.  I could never know the true dread in their hearts until this very moment.  When you discover that you are pregnant, your whole heart changes - just like that.  You become more aware of the beauty in every little detail and start to realize that you will be sharing this beautiful world with another life - a life that you have created.  Upon return from the CO trip, I still had no signs of miscarriage.  We went to LA for a couple of days to spend the holidays with Kiley’s family and then headed back to Dallas for our appointment on the 26^th.  Maybe they could finally tell me what was wrong with the baby... or what was wrong with me.  After going to the doctor, reviewing our medical files and filling her in on all of the details, she ordered an ultrasound.  We went into the ultrasound room right away and let the tech get to business. I laid back on the table, not knowing what to prepare myself for. To our complete and utter shock, we saw a big baby inside my womb.  The ultrasound tech said, "There’s baby! Healthy and growing! See the heartbeat flicker?”  We were STUNNED.  

Up until now, we had been prepped and prepared to miscarry this child. And what was once a little dot was now a big embryo.  Our minds were blown. The doctor told us that the original blood work could have had a million things wrong with it.  The complications varied from testing my blood at two different times of day to sending each test to a different lab.  The doctor even mentioned that the test could have been read incorrectly from the beginning.  All of which could give faulty results.  So the miscarriage diagnosis was all choked up to be a huge flub in lab work??? In reality, we had a healthy little baby growing inside of me… And that is the start of the story of our miracle Baby Grant.